First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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