you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
