There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Buhtt sex?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Randomize
