You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize