You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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