I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
