Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize