Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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