I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I want a musical about memes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
