My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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