So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
