I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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