I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
