I've blown a few things in my day
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
