if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Every concussion has its silver lining
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
