They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize