Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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