i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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