We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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