Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's never too late to be topless.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
