Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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