for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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