Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
