She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My bed smells like the plague
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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