Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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