we have pet lesbian snakes
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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