This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
