wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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