May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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