that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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