Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Randomize
