bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize