the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
