Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
