You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I donโt think he understands how Social Media works.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize