Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
