omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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