Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
