I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize