i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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