it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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