i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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