I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
