I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
