all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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