LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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