He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm like, not good at living.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
