I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
