never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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