I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
