sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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