Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
