i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
