I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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