If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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