I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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