Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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